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[08 Feb 2006|11:46pm] hahah they're talking about gremlins & how gizmo, the gremlin got half of his ear taken off, by accident! i have a gizmo, who looks like a gremlin & my dad accidentally cut half his ear off.. grooming him! 2 can't forget

[08 Feb 2006|12:51am] i love laying in bed, finding all these new ways to get comfortable. i love inhaling untill i feel it in my back & exhaling until i start to cough. laying with your face in the pillow, inhaling & exhaling as deeply as you can, being so relaxed that it feels as though the room is spinning, is the greatest. ( Read more... ) when all you got to keep is strong move along, move along like i know you do and even when your hope is gone move along, move along just to make it through can't forget

[05 Feb 2006|01:12am] everytime i see you i'm alive you're all i've got you lift me up the sun and the moonlight all my dreams are in your eyes i love my mumma.. 2 can't forget

[05 Feb 2006|12:07am] my mom had a heart-attack. & then my dad & i got mcdonalds on the way home. can't forget

[02 Feb 2006|03:24am] NEW EMAIL! smasssshley@aol.com can't forget

[01 Feb 2006|11:45am] PSPSPSPSPS - MY GLASSES CAME IN TODAY! WOOT! can't forget

[01 Feb 2006|11:33am] [ music | AVENGED SEVENFOLD seize the day ] lisa, lauren & myself went to the avenged sevenfold show last night. it was so miserable outside, in line. we got to portland at like, 1. went to d'angelo's & got some lunch & then got in line. there was so much confusion as to what bands were going to be there for sure & what door's they were letting us in through. doors were supposed to open at 6:30. but day of contempt got lost & was twenty minutes late. we didn't get inside until close to seven thirty! it was like 20 degrees out, i kid you not. 20 degrees for 6-7 hours? not cool. day of contempt, bullets & octane, CKY, & avenged sevenfold played. there was some confusement between lauren & i over B&O & CKY, but we clarified everything. we got the perfect spot, but my pictures aren't worth posting, atleast not now, i'm far to lazy. what was the quote of the night, you ask? "CKY are going to be rough" - lisa. "CKY are going to be fierce!?! what?" - lauren. lauren could not hear a word we were saying to her. it was so hilarious. on the way out, i walked right into a post. ohhh man. good times. we didn't get home till 3 in the morning, after sitting in the parking garage for half an hour in traffic & stopping at burger king (on the highway, it's a ritual..) craaaazy, man. 4 can't forget

[28 Jan 2006|02:53am] hey, i just went ahead & started using one of those screen names. so my new screen name is!: x free form jazz 1 can't forget

[27 Jan 2006|11:32pm] I'M CHANGING MY SCREEN NAME. haha, nothing you can say will change my mind :) BUT! have some input on the name! here are the options: the x new x year (death cab for cutie) mas0chistickiss (with a zero) (treos) quarentine wings (panic! at the disco) x free form jazz (treos) can't forget

[27 Jan 2006|07:52pm] man! am i great? i went to adult ed last night, it was my first class, yknow.. i'm taking biology through it. i really like mr. koch. theres like 20 or so people in my class, 7 of which are adults & then 13 or so that are about my age. he assigned us to read chapters 1 & 2.. & do review questions 1-10 on each chapter, question three in critical thinking on ch. 1 & then 10-19 odd on each chapter, for next week. i came home from laurens today & did everything. this is a miracle for me. i didn't just run through them & guess either, i actually did the work. amazing or what? can't forget

[26 Jan 2006|01:30am] spent the night at laurens last night! we didn't go to bed till four or so this morning, woke up around twelve thirty & were couch potatoes all day! ( this is hopefully the worst you've seen me! ) can't forget

[25 Jan 2006|05:45pm] yesterday, the mail came & my dad got it.. i looked through & saw a letter from "gary phillips", stole all the mail.. threw it in my purse & went to laurens. i stole the mail, because had my dad found it, he not only would have been upset, but opened it. gary phillips is my mom's ex husband, the love of her life. she writes his family every christmas & apparently she did this year, that's how he got our address. it was a love letter, a fucking love letter. he's a drug addict, abusive when he's drinking & such & that's why my mom & him got a divorce some 25 years or so ago. YES - they haven't had contact in 25 years. she writes his family every year & now all of a sudden he writes her back. why do i feel like i've suddenly been transported back to highschool? i'm happy for her, that he still cares for her, i am. but i just don't know what to feel & then i feel like it shouldn't matter to me. yknow? it's her ex, it's her life, etc. but then.. it's not anymore.. she has a family. & i feel like he should know that, you know? i feel like "how dare he have the audacity to write her a letter after years & years, after she's created a family?!" it wouldn't be bad if it were just an innocent letter, but it's a love letter through & through. it really scares me & yet i feel like it shouldn't. i feel this weird sort of jealously wash over me everytime i think about it, about the letter, about him. "you're more beautiful now, then you ever were.. & ashley is as beautiful as you.." ugh! "if he ever showed up on my door, i don't know if i could turn him away.." it makes me feel really guilty to feel this way. but it's also like, she left him for a reason, why on earth would she ever go back, why would she want to? love can't fix everything. he wants to see her, have contact with her. & it bothers me & worries me so much. & it's going to sound even stupider when i tell you all that he lives thousands of miles away.. in ohio. he lives with two people who are not his family, who he is not involved with romantically & he's 50 something. this all seems weird to me. my mom swears that he's got to still be on drugs & drinking. i'm worrying over nothing, i'm sure. but i still feel like it's my right. can't forget

[23 Jan 2006|07:00pm] here it is folks! erin & i are going to see saves the day together. they're totally our band, lolz. & we've come to the conclusion that we're baking chris cookies&ohmyeffinglord! ps - tifffanie, thank you so much for the offer though! you have no idea how much that meant to me. can't forget

[22 Jan 2006|12:34am] [ music | DR. 90210 ] last night i went to laurens. no one was there when i got there, so i chilled in the car with my pops & listened to a little carrie underwood & then she got there & we went to the bank. keelin (lisa's bestfriend, lisa is laurens sister) & lisa came back (they were at keelins house, that's why no one was there when i got there..) & smoked some ganja. they kept asking us to go see tristan & isolde with them, amanda & kathleen. finally we talked them out of it & keelin, lisa & amanda cancelled on kathleen. amanda made the trek over & we all went to wendy's & got some dinner. at laurens, keelin either wanted to play blurt!, yoshi, or get high. so lauren & i gave in & decided to smoke it up. it actually worked on me this time, though. we just sat there & laughed & lauren dribbled down her chin. i kept thinking i pissed my pants, hilarious. lisa & amanda ran downstairs & got a 2 liter bottle of cherry vanilla (i think?) dr. pepper, that three different flavored ice cream, & maple walnut ice cream & the five of us devoured it all. we just hung out in lisa's room, amanda left & then lauren, lisa & i took keelin home! i really don't want to get shit for doing pot. it's only the second time i've done it, get over it. anyways - came back from taking keelin home, got some food & watched the 40 year old virgin. my favorite line? "i may not have had sex, but i can fuck you up!" went to bed, well, lauren did. i watched the fray on conan or leno (?) & then PANIC! AT THE DISCO on fucking carson daly! my mom came home from aprils an hour ago. can't forget

[21 Jan 2006|09:32pm] i sure as hell hope that my mom isn't in the truck that just went down the driveway (it's russ's, my nextdoor neighbors ex-husband.. but april's car is missing a headlight, so they might have taken his truck..) anyways - they (my mom & her) have both been drinking. someone in russ's truck just drove down the driveway & jack-knifed in the driveway. they kept going, eventually.. but ugh. she has no conception of time, whatsoever. i'm sick & i haven't been home & today was such a good day.. we had so much fun together & we were going to watch the miss america pageant together & then of course! april invited her over & they're drinking. my mom was like "i'm not staying long, especially once russ get's there.." bull shit. it's already been an hour & 40 minutes, but who's counting? & i'm going to be super pissed if her & april got in that truck together & drove off to wherever. 2 can't forget

[19 Jan 2006|07:59pm] saves the day is coming to maine. saves the day is coming to maine. saves the day is coming to maine. i WILL go to this show. fuck everyone else. my mom has already said that if i can't find someone to take with me or go with, that she'll go with me. (it's not that SHE wouldn't let me go alone, my dad won't). you have no idea. they are my absolute favorite band. i WILL miss class thursday to go, i WILL go with my mom if i have to, i WILL make it down there. you all just wait & see. i WILL do ANYTHING to get there. i'm so fucking serious, guys. ps - it's not that i haven't seen them, i have 3 quite possibly 4 times already. it's that they haven't been here in years & it's been a year or so since i've seen them & omg, i'm flipping out. 2 can't forget

[17 Jan 2006|11:57pm] [ music | MY OWN! ] pictures! ( jacuzzi! .. just remember, it's not a whiiiirlpool.. ) can't forget

[17 Jan 2006|08:36pm] hahahahaha. american idol, hahahah. 3 can't forget

[17 Jan 2006|06:58pm] [ music | NUMBER ONE FAN don't say anything ] i got my debit card today in the mail! uber exciting! mindy, ali & i hung out yesterday. went & watched mindy get her nose pierced, it was really nice seeing them again. i haven't really seen them since close to sophomore year. i definitely see us all hanging out again & more often. lauren picked me up last night & we came out here. mainly just sat around, ate dinner, watched the golden globes. uhm. then we watched the re-runs of "meet the barkers" & she left around 11:30. i guess we're hanging out tomorrow? after she gets home from work? sweet. urm. i guess i'll post with some pictures later, cause photobucket is being a douche. ps - i appreciate all your opinions, but i did cut my bangs, lol. they were driving me nuts at mindy's yesterday.. so off they went. can't forget

[14 Jan 2006|11:14pm] [ music | DR. 90210. ] i'm watching dr. 90210 & it's got a transsexual on it. very, very interesting. hm. i ended up having to take a class through adult ed, so i'm taking biology through them. i'm really excited. january 26th. i'm FINALLY hanging out with mindy & ali on monday. ali & i are going to accompany mindy while she gets her nose peirced. it'll be so great to see them, i haven't seen either of them in so long. my room is sweltering. can't forget

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